Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize