i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
