Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
