ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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