The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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