Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
