If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
