I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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