im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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