You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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