none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
