just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
