My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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