We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
