you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
