Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I don't think brook has ever known best
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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