when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
