so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
