So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
