hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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