Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
