just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
