You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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