i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My life is pants optional.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
