You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
