I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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