I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think my vagina is haunted
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
