I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
