you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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