i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
