Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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