Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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