god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
