he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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