i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Don't make out with my wife yet
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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