this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
