I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
