how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
