at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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