What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
