I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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