just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize