You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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