Me. At least after what I've been through.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize