Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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