bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
