You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So vagazzling was a success
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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