it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
