How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
