I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
