Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
