pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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