I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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