writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
