And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm going to jail i love you
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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