Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think my moral compass just broke
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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