The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Help. Why am I so naked?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
