'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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