Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize