She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I will pee on everything he values.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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