when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found your dick twin last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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