After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize